Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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