Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize