It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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