was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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