Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
my poor anus
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
