Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
