yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
