This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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