Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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