Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
