Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize