Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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