at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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