Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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