i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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