I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
