My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
