Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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