I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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