bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I love you. Go after that dick
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
