i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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