she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize