I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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