Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
