He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
