why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this boner is exhausting
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
