I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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