Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Randomize
