if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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