Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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