how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she told me i tasted like america
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
