dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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