margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You may now shotgun with the bride
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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