i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
