why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you didnt know i had herpes?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
