i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
