I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize