We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
