no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize