i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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