nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize