there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
