I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dignity is for republicans.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
