thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize