you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
