I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
