You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
