just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
