Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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