did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize