TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We got so high we made milksteak
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
