Yo dont text me then not text me
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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