I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
