She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
