I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
