We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
