With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
