I hate your face
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
