You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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